I was 6 or 7years old. I asked my mom “How were you feeling when you realized I was not a boy.”
She said, “My mom apologized my husband and his family for second daughter.” Since then, I strongly believe that my birth has to be sorry. I have been looking for evidences that will prove my belief the my exist is wrong. It has been like looking for pieces of gold on the beach. The reflections of sunshine look like pieces of gold.
Now, I know that my effort to prove my worthiness has been motivated by my belief that I am worthless. What if I believed I am worthy? Does that fact even need to be proven? I might have been spending energy to love myself Instead of proving, so outcome will be ‘love the other’.
There are so many people talk about love yourself via quotes, videos, articles, and musics. Even though I share those on my facebook or liked those, it is not mine until I believe it. Therefore, I decide to believe- I am worthy.