My Love Story with Me

I was 6 or 7 years old when I asked my mom, “How did you feel when you realized I was not a boy?”

She said, “I apologized to my husband and his family for our second daughter.” At that moment it sank in – I strongly believed that I was supposed to be sorry that I was born. After that, I started looking for evidence that proved the belief that my existence was wrong – I was something to be sorry for. It has been like looking for pieces of gold on the beach: the reflections of sunshine look like pieces of gold, but in reality they are not.

Now that I am adult, I realized that my effort to prove my worthiness has been motivated by a deep-seeded belief that I am worthless. But what if I looked at it differently – what if I believed I am inherently worthy? Does that even need to be proven? All these years, instead of trying to prove my worth, I could have been spending that energy to love myself. In that process there was beautiful, a hidden outcome – a discovery of a deep love for others.

Many people spread the word about self-love via quotes, videos, articles, and music. Even though I share those or like them on Facebook, it is not mine until I believe it. Therefore, I decide to believe and declare: I am worthy. 

Published by Lonnie Lee

My Love and Joy lead others to self-discovery. I stand up for women who has been in the box of cultural backgrounds, religions and races. My vision of the world is that people experience courageousness as many times as possible. Therefore, everybody creates their vision without their own fears and conditions(that also created by individual)

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